Beth and I are spending the week in a beautiful condo on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. When we entered the area we stopped by the local informatin center for brochures. The helpful lady reminded me that it will take a day or so to get used to "Outer Banks time". She said it's a little slower down here than most folks are used to. I liked hearing that. But it reminded me of my life the rest of the time.
Are you part of the “instant” age we now live in? Iphones, blackberrys, instant messaging, and facebook are part of our culture that will not soon fade. With each new invention we become more accustomed to immediate access to information regardless of its relevance to our lives (i.e. most postings on Facebook or Twitter). We want our food fast and our information immediate. For many, not having instant access to information or other people creates stress and anxiety. No one would argue that the pace of our society is faster today than ever before. Time is most often used to measure inefficiency. For this generation there seems to be little value in things taking time to develop. The reality is that time is most valuable in many areas of our lives, in particular the process of healing.
Christian counseling is directly involved with the healing of emotional wounds. Biblical truths are shared to shed light on the lies that have been perpetrated by our Enemy. As the truth of God’s love and purpose are revealed in our lives, new attitudes form and behaviors change. However, the effects of living for a period without the truth leave emotional wounds. Anyone who has experienced childhood abuse can testify to this. Early traumas become imbedded in our thought patterns and become “our truth.” The reversal of these patterns is not an instant process. With all of our progress as a society, there is no pill to speed up the healing of emotional wounds. The healing of emotional wounds begins with renewing the mind with the Truth of Jesus Christ. By faith, the wounded begin to live and think according to the perspective of God, replacing old lies with new ways. While information brings light to the situation, transformation is a process that is worked out over time. In effect, “the Truth” must become “their Truth”. New life and power come through this transformation as the new reality becomes more real than the former lies. This is only accomplished with time. In fact, “instant” healing of emotional wounds is potentially superficial and short lived.
If you are working through the healing of some emotional wounds or trying to counsel those who are, remember the value of time. The process of healing is creating a new foundation for life. Whether the wound is lifelong (abuse, abandonment etc.) or circumstantial (loss of a loved one), time is your ally in recovery. Be patient with yourself and others who hear counsel, yet don’t take immediately to its application. It can be a frightening process to change the foundations of your thinking and feeling. Recall the patience of our Lord Jesus as He works with you. We are all in the process of healing in some way or another. The good news can be found in the bible,
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil 1:6, ESV)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Yard Sale Anyone?
Sitting on my front porch watching folks attend neighborhood yard sales is always entertaining. They rush into the area desperate to find a parking spot on the local street. They quickly make their way to the site hoping to find that “special deal”. It makes me smile to see them return to their cars with that satisfied look of accomplishment. They are holding a new “treasure”. They are so pleased with the acquisition. Then they are on to the next sale. And it starts all over again. I have only experienced the yard sale from the selling end. I am just as pleased to sell my stuff as those buyers are to make the deal. All this reminds me that one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. It’s all about perspective.
Jesus didn’t show much interest in collecting stuff. He collected people. He still collects people. In fact, He seems to show a particular interest in collecting the treasures that society treats as junk. I’m thinking of the poor, the addicted and the lost. The people who society is often ready to throw away are the people that Jesus deeply loves:
“..Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.' 7Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.” (Luke 15:6-7)
If the church of Jesus Christ exercised the same energy and passion toward saving the lost that we put toward the Saturday morning yard sale (6am start time..really?), the “junk” of our society would become the treasures of the Kingdom.
Jesus didn’t show much interest in collecting stuff. He collected people. He still collects people. In fact, He seems to show a particular interest in collecting the treasures that society treats as junk. I’m thinking of the poor, the addicted and the lost. The people who society is often ready to throw away are the people that Jesus deeply loves:
“..Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.' 7Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.” (Luke 15:6-7)
If the church of Jesus Christ exercised the same energy and passion toward saving the lost that we put toward the Saturday morning yard sale (6am start time..really?), the “junk” of our society would become the treasures of the Kingdom.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
This morning I walked around my neighborhood listening to praise music for about a mile and a half. This is certainly nothing to brag about, yet six weeks ago I could not stand without help. Walking a few feet with aid completely exhausted me. After some time in the hospital and gallons (it seems like it!) of antibiotics, I am on the mend. While in the hospital, some friends and family jokingly called me Lazarus as I began to heal. I’m sure I looked like a man who was dead for several days trying to walk again. But the comparison drew a deeper meaning for me.
Lazarus was raised from the dead by the call of Jesus to the Father (John 11:31.) The Lord was moved with compassion by the weeping of the people (vs 35), yet we know that the intention of Jesus was to show the glory of God by resurrecting Lazarus even before he made the journey (John 11:11). The sovereign plan of the Father was carried out at the same time Jesus was emotionally moved by the cries of the people.
What does Lazarus have to do with me? Well, I was overwhelmed this morning with the realization of how many Saints were praying for my healing. While the illness and recovery have been a sovereign move of the Lord, I am convinced that the prayers of the Saints had influence on the Lord’s work in my life. I can’t explain how all that works together, but I believe the words of E.M. Bounds when he wrote,
” If we believe God’s Word, we are bound to believe that prayer affects God and affects Him mightily; that prayer avails, and that prayer avails mightily “
(Wonders of God Through Prayer, Pg 207)
Thank God for His compassion that even in the midst of His sovereign plan, He hears the prayers of his people (James 5:16). Thanks also for caring Saints who cry out on behalf of others.
Lazarus was raised from the dead by the call of Jesus to the Father (John 11:31.) The Lord was moved with compassion by the weeping of the people (vs 35), yet we know that the intention of Jesus was to show the glory of God by resurrecting Lazarus even before he made the journey (John 11:11). The sovereign plan of the Father was carried out at the same time Jesus was emotionally moved by the cries of the people.
What does Lazarus have to do with me? Well, I was overwhelmed this morning with the realization of how many Saints were praying for my healing. While the illness and recovery have been a sovereign move of the Lord, I am convinced that the prayers of the Saints had influence on the Lord’s work in my life. I can’t explain how all that works together, but I believe the words of E.M. Bounds when he wrote,
” If we believe God’s Word, we are bound to believe that prayer affects God and affects Him mightily; that prayer avails, and that prayer avails mightily “
(Wonders of God Through Prayer, Pg 207)
Thank God for His compassion that even in the midst of His sovereign plan, He hears the prayers of his people (James 5:16). Thanks also for caring Saints who cry out on behalf of others.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Joy in the Trial
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4
Fully understanding this passage has always been a challenge for me. The word joy makes me think of exuberant and energetic happiness. I have never connected the facing of a trial with this definition. I have experienced a feeling of satisfaction when the benefit of a trial was revealed , but this was usually long after the trial was over. I have seen God’s purpose in the trial after the fact, but never experienced joy during the trial. That is until recently.
My recent battle with a nasty staph infection allowed me to experience many new things. There was a point about 4 days into my hospital stay that brought me deeply into the Lord presence. The doctors and nurses offered no answers to my severe pain and 103+ fever. This was my first time in a hospital as an adult and I was getting little help from modern medicine. The Lord spoke gently into my spirit late at night as I cried out to Him. He told me that this was not “unto death, but there was more pain to come.” I cannot describe to you the joy and peace that came over me that night. The chills and pain were still severe, but my Father told me that I was going to live. From that point on, I was at peace because He was still in charge. For the next 5 or 6 days, I opened my eyes and ears to the people around me who might need to hear the gospel or an encouraging word. If this wasn’t going to kill me, then the trial must have a purpose. The remaining days in 2 different hospitals revealed several “God moments” with doctors, nurses and other patients.
I understand now that there is a joy that can only come when faith allows us to rest in the Lord. The trial has changed me in ways that I am still learning. There is a joy, a confidence that only comes when God Himself brings you through a tough time. His grace allowed me to experience the joy of His sovereignty during the trial. I pray that your next trial yields fruit that will build your faith.
"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." (Job 8:21)
Fully understanding this passage has always been a challenge for me. The word joy makes me think of exuberant and energetic happiness. I have never connected the facing of a trial with this definition. I have experienced a feeling of satisfaction when the benefit of a trial was revealed , but this was usually long after the trial was over. I have seen God’s purpose in the trial after the fact, but never experienced joy during the trial. That is until recently.
My recent battle with a nasty staph infection allowed me to experience many new things. There was a point about 4 days into my hospital stay that brought me deeply into the Lord presence. The doctors and nurses offered no answers to my severe pain and 103+ fever. This was my first time in a hospital as an adult and I was getting little help from modern medicine. The Lord spoke gently into my spirit late at night as I cried out to Him. He told me that this was not “unto death, but there was more pain to come.” I cannot describe to you the joy and peace that came over me that night. The chills and pain were still severe, but my Father told me that I was going to live. From that point on, I was at peace because He was still in charge. For the next 5 or 6 days, I opened my eyes and ears to the people around me who might need to hear the gospel or an encouraging word. If this wasn’t going to kill me, then the trial must have a purpose. The remaining days in 2 different hospitals revealed several “God moments” with doctors, nurses and other patients.
I understand now that there is a joy that can only come when faith allows us to rest in the Lord. The trial has changed me in ways that I am still learning. There is a joy, a confidence that only comes when God Himself brings you through a tough time. His grace allowed me to experience the joy of His sovereignty during the trial. I pray that your next trial yields fruit that will build your faith.
"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." (Job 8:21)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Voice of Truth
And the angel of the LORD appeared to him and said to him, "The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor." (Judges 6:12)
Here’s a man who was alone beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. His people would plant crops only to have invaders come like locusts and steal the harvest. Gideon and the Israelites had lost hope that God would save them. They were reduced to hiding in caves to avoid detection. These were God’s chosen people who had not obeyed His voice (vs 10). But God, rich in mercy, called Gideon out through an angel of the Lord. He used Gideon to save His people.
When God’s voice first calls out to a man, it sounds foreign and misplaced. To be called a “man of valor” while hiding away in fear and hopelessness sounds foolish. Yet we know that God sees the heart and the finished product of a person long before the work is completed. A person caught in repetitive sin can only see their failures, not their future. They have lived in disobedience, fear and shame for so long, they lose hope that God is willing to intervene. For Gideon and his people, God was willing to use a willing soldier to restore order and righteousness. For those caught in sin, He is willing to restore if we are willing to surrender. Gideon had to surrender his fear and doubt. We must do the same.
The Casting Crown’s song says that “the voice of Truth tells me a different story.” God’s voice in our lives comes in many forms. We hear Him through the Word, fellow believers, prayer and circumstances. His voice is Truth. It is the sound to follow in the darkness until we can begin to see light in our tribulations. Hear it, believe it, trust it, live it! As we follow this path, we become the person He called us to be…even a might man of valor who saves his people. Who has God called you to be?
Here’s a man who was alone beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. His people would plant crops only to have invaders come like locusts and steal the harvest. Gideon and the Israelites had lost hope that God would save them. They were reduced to hiding in caves to avoid detection. These were God’s chosen people who had not obeyed His voice (vs 10). But God, rich in mercy, called Gideon out through an angel of the Lord. He used Gideon to save His people.
When God’s voice first calls out to a man, it sounds foreign and misplaced. To be called a “man of valor” while hiding away in fear and hopelessness sounds foolish. Yet we know that God sees the heart and the finished product of a person long before the work is completed. A person caught in repetitive sin can only see their failures, not their future. They have lived in disobedience, fear and shame for so long, they lose hope that God is willing to intervene. For Gideon and his people, God was willing to use a willing soldier to restore order and righteousness. For those caught in sin, He is willing to restore if we are willing to surrender. Gideon had to surrender his fear and doubt. We must do the same.
The Casting Crown’s song says that “the voice of Truth tells me a different story.” God’s voice in our lives comes in many forms. We hear Him through the Word, fellow believers, prayer and circumstances. His voice is Truth. It is the sound to follow in the darkness until we can begin to see light in our tribulations. Hear it, believe it, trust it, live it! As we follow this path, we become the person He called us to be…even a might man of valor who saves his people. Who has God called you to be?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
What motivates you?
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Phil 3:12-14) NIV
Like the rest of us Paul had a life before Jesus Christ became the focus. For Paul, he had a prideful pedigree of education and accomplishment to recall. He also could recall overseeing the brutal beatings of Christians simply for believing that the Messiah had come in the flesh. I think he wrote this passage in Philippians because he knew the power of the past to draw us away from the pursuit of Christ. We can be tempted to think highly of our former accomplishments or to be tormented by depth of our depravity. Neither serves us well in keeping our focus on the future.
So what motivates to us to “keep up the good fight” (2Tim 4:7) as Paul did until the end? While the darkness of our past can be a reminder of the grace of God, it fails to motivate us consistently in moving forward. A person is best motivated by a vision of his future that reaches beyond the failures of his past. If we focus on the failures, our new life is based on a platform of guilt and shame. We can’t simply overcome the guilt of our past with new works. That system leaves us under the law as before salvation (Rom 4:2). Jesus offers something better than redemptive works to make up for our past. He offers us new life that is based on grace, not works (Eph 2:8-9).
The “straining” toward the goal is rooted in keeping my mind on Christ, not on my past accomplishments/failures. The person I was is not who I am (2Cor 5:17). Jesus has a vision and a destiny for my life that goes beyond my imagination. He has one for you as well. As we receive His forgiveness and grace and stay focused on Jesus, He reveals the prize..
Like the rest of us Paul had a life before Jesus Christ became the focus. For Paul, he had a prideful pedigree of education and accomplishment to recall. He also could recall overseeing the brutal beatings of Christians simply for believing that the Messiah had come in the flesh. I think he wrote this passage in Philippians because he knew the power of the past to draw us away from the pursuit of Christ. We can be tempted to think highly of our former accomplishments or to be tormented by depth of our depravity. Neither serves us well in keeping our focus on the future.
So what motivates to us to “keep up the good fight” (2Tim 4:7) as Paul did until the end? While the darkness of our past can be a reminder of the grace of God, it fails to motivate us consistently in moving forward. A person is best motivated by a vision of his future that reaches beyond the failures of his past. If we focus on the failures, our new life is based on a platform of guilt and shame. We can’t simply overcome the guilt of our past with new works. That system leaves us under the law as before salvation (Rom 4:2). Jesus offers something better than redemptive works to make up for our past. He offers us new life that is based on grace, not works (Eph 2:8-9).
The “straining” toward the goal is rooted in keeping my mind on Christ, not on my past accomplishments/failures. The person I was is not who I am (2Cor 5:17). Jesus has a vision and a destiny for my life that goes beyond my imagination. He has one for you as well. As we receive His forgiveness and grace and stay focused on Jesus, He reveals the prize..
Thursday, August 5, 2010
How Wet is Water?
“ I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.” (Isaiah 46:10)
What God says He will do, He will do! Sometimes as situations in life appear to be moving away from God’s intention, I am tempted to question the sovereignty of God in all things. Several nights ago while laying awake thinking about the day’s events, this question popped into my mind. God, how sovereign are you? It felt like an odd question at the time. I am convinced the Lord put this question on my heart in order to give me an answer that was much deeper than my stewing about the day. Just for reference, my “stewing” about the day usually involves remembering some of the challenging situations I have encountered in counseling and wondering what my next move should be. This time God just went straight to the heart of the matter. He put my concerns in the form of a question that only He could answer. Before I could consider a clever biblical response to the question, God proposed another question that referred to the first one. How sovereign are you God?.....How wet is water? Wow, I really had to think about that one.
Water is completely wet. Every part of water can be described as wet. If fact, when you try to describe water, you can’t avoid using the word wet. The two are inseparable. Water is a lot of things, but in all uses, wet! I think you see the connection God was showing me. He is many things, yet sovereign in all things. The degree of His sovereignty cannot be measured in any situation. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Rom 8:28). I need to remember that God is working for THE good and MY good in all circumstances. He is completely sovereign in the big picture of the world’s turmoil and in the little picture our individual lives. For the people I care about, their struggles are evidence of His working out His will and His pleasure in each of us (Phil 2:13). The struggles we face today are for the same purpose as those faced by ancient Israel, when God said,
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction (Isa 48:10)
God is completely sovereign in all things, for His glory and for our good! God is sovereign like water is wet…I’m good with that.
I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.” (Isaiah 46:10)
What God says He will do, He will do! Sometimes as situations in life appear to be moving away from God’s intention, I am tempted to question the sovereignty of God in all things. Several nights ago while laying awake thinking about the day’s events, this question popped into my mind. God, how sovereign are you? It felt like an odd question at the time. I am convinced the Lord put this question on my heart in order to give me an answer that was much deeper than my stewing about the day. Just for reference, my “stewing” about the day usually involves remembering some of the challenging situations I have encountered in counseling and wondering what my next move should be. This time God just went straight to the heart of the matter. He put my concerns in the form of a question that only He could answer. Before I could consider a clever biblical response to the question, God proposed another question that referred to the first one. How sovereign are you God?.....How wet is water? Wow, I really had to think about that one.
Water is completely wet. Every part of water can be described as wet. If fact, when you try to describe water, you can’t avoid using the word wet. The two are inseparable. Water is a lot of things, but in all uses, wet! I think you see the connection God was showing me. He is many things, yet sovereign in all things. The degree of His sovereignty cannot be measured in any situation. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Rom 8:28). I need to remember that God is working for THE good and MY good in all circumstances. He is completely sovereign in the big picture of the world’s turmoil and in the little picture our individual lives. For the people I care about, their struggles are evidence of His working out His will and His pleasure in each of us (Phil 2:13). The struggles we face today are for the same purpose as those faced by ancient Israel, when God said,
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction (Isa 48:10)
God is completely sovereign in all things, for His glory and for our good! God is sovereign like water is wet…I’m good with that.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Responding to Grace
So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.(Luke 14:33)
It is clear from this scripture and others that being a disciple comes with a price. Otherwise, we slip into the comfort of “cheap grace.” As Dietrech Bonhoffer wrote, “Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate." (Cost of Discipleship)
It is a deep commitment to begin the walk of a disciple. It is a calling from our Lord that requires His Spirit to accomplish. I cannot be a disciple through willpower alone. If I attempt to be a disciple of Jesus without developing a relationship of prayer and dependency, I will fall into the trap of religious rules and performance based love. My failure to “abide by the rules” and the example of Jesus can lead me to self condemnation and crippling despair. This is the glory of grace. Jesus loves me as I am, yet yearns for me to be more than I ever imagined. He loves who I am and who I am becoming. How do I respond to this love and the expectations of discipleship?
First, I realize that my conforming to the image of Jesus is a process. Everything in my life (the good and bad) is designed and ordained by God to encourage my discipleship with Him. I praise Him in the good times and lean more on Him in the tough times. I am working on praising Him in the tough times but I’m not quite there yet. :)
Second, I realize that the discipline of my flesh takes time to perfect. This includes the abolition of old habits and the addition of new ones. There are so many spiritual disciplines to measure our progress that the list can be overwhelming. Prayer, bible reading, fasting, worship, service to others, solitude, submission, confession, etc. As Jesus said, discipleship comes with sacrifice. Here’s two indicators in my life that help give me a measure of where I am in following the example of Jesus: If I take control over what goes into my mouth (food, type and amount) as well as what comes out of my mouth(choice of words and loving delivery), then things are on the right track. Being a good disciple involves every aspect of my life, but when the mouth is under control, the rest of the body seems to follow (James 3).
We are all a work in progress (Phil 1:6). The grace of the Cross was not cheap and deserves our best response. Help us Lord!
It is clear from this scripture and others that being a disciple comes with a price. Otherwise, we slip into the comfort of “cheap grace.” As Dietrech Bonhoffer wrote, “Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate." (Cost of Discipleship)
It is a deep commitment to begin the walk of a disciple. It is a calling from our Lord that requires His Spirit to accomplish. I cannot be a disciple through willpower alone. If I attempt to be a disciple of Jesus without developing a relationship of prayer and dependency, I will fall into the trap of religious rules and performance based love. My failure to “abide by the rules” and the example of Jesus can lead me to self condemnation and crippling despair. This is the glory of grace. Jesus loves me as I am, yet yearns for me to be more than I ever imagined. He loves who I am and who I am becoming. How do I respond to this love and the expectations of discipleship?
First, I realize that my conforming to the image of Jesus is a process. Everything in my life (the good and bad) is designed and ordained by God to encourage my discipleship with Him. I praise Him in the good times and lean more on Him in the tough times. I am working on praising Him in the tough times but I’m not quite there yet. :)
Second, I realize that the discipline of my flesh takes time to perfect. This includes the abolition of old habits and the addition of new ones. There are so many spiritual disciplines to measure our progress that the list can be overwhelming. Prayer, bible reading, fasting, worship, service to others, solitude, submission, confession, etc. As Jesus said, discipleship comes with sacrifice. Here’s two indicators in my life that help give me a measure of where I am in following the example of Jesus: If I take control over what goes into my mouth (food, type and amount) as well as what comes out of my mouth(choice of words and loving delivery), then things are on the right track. Being a good disciple involves every aspect of my life, but when the mouth is under control, the rest of the body seems to follow (James 3).
We are all a work in progress (Phil 1:6). The grace of the Cross was not cheap and deserves our best response. Help us Lord!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
God's Relentless Love
"And the LORD spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah out upon the dry land." (Jonah 2:10)
Why did the Lord command the fish to vomit Jonah out? Jonah was obstinate from the beginning. He was commanded to go to Ninevah to preach to the lost city. He rebelled and took a boat headed the opposite way to Tarshish. Did he really think he could escape God's will by running to the open sea that God created? Seems like a redundant question until I pose it to the mirror. Do I really think I can escape God's will for my life by avoiding or delaying obedience to His commands?
God could have raised up another prophet to deliver the message. But He chose to take Jonah through a miraculous journey into the belly of a fish. He loved Jonah enough to keep him in the plan. According to Jonah 2, the fish actually saved Jonah from drowning. Only God could make being swallowed by a fish a good thing! The near death experience caused Jonah to praise God and give Him thanks. His praising of God gave the signal that he was ready to continue the journey to carry out God's will. He set out a second time to Ninevah, this time preaching to a city of repentant citizens ready to receive God's mercy.
We all need a readjustment sometimes. Sometimes we are moved by sweet conviction and sometimes we are motivated by fear. If I can just remember that everything that God has for me is GOOD all the time (Rom 8:28), His methods of readjustment for me may be less painful than Jonah's.
"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ" (Phil 1:6)
Why did the Lord command the fish to vomit Jonah out? Jonah was obstinate from the beginning. He was commanded to go to Ninevah to preach to the lost city. He rebelled and took a boat headed the opposite way to Tarshish. Did he really think he could escape God's will by running to the open sea that God created? Seems like a redundant question until I pose it to the mirror. Do I really think I can escape God's will for my life by avoiding or delaying obedience to His commands?
God could have raised up another prophet to deliver the message. But He chose to take Jonah through a miraculous journey into the belly of a fish. He loved Jonah enough to keep him in the plan. According to Jonah 2, the fish actually saved Jonah from drowning. Only God could make being swallowed by a fish a good thing! The near death experience caused Jonah to praise God and give Him thanks. His praising of God gave the signal that he was ready to continue the journey to carry out God's will. He set out a second time to Ninevah, this time preaching to a city of repentant citizens ready to receive God's mercy.
We all need a readjustment sometimes. Sometimes we are moved by sweet conviction and sometimes we are motivated by fear. If I can just remember that everything that God has for me is GOOD all the time (Rom 8:28), His methods of readjustment for me may be less painful than Jonah's.
"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ" (Phil 1:6)
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1Pet 3:7)
Today my church heard an amazing testimony from a dear friend on her role as a wife and daughter. She testified that she has failed to honor her husband as a submissive wife. She also commented on how many women have fallen into the pattern of “emasculating” their husbands with criticism and control. She wants to break this cycle before her daughters enter into marriage and follow the same pattern. Her courage and transparency invited the work of the Holy Spirit into so many of us in the congregation. We are grateful for her obedience to the Lord’s prompting.
Her observations on the “upside down” leadership in so many homes today reminded me of the many couples I counsel with that are in this cycle (as well as my marriage once upon a time). I submit that while some women are born with strong leadership tendencies, many adopt this style in response to fear and the abandonment of male leadership in the home. Here is the cycle in a nutshell: When men fail to lead by the example of Jesus, women become fearful. For many, the primary response to fear is to attempt to control the environment to feel safe. This attempt to control causes frustration and fatigue as it works against God’s natural design. The fear and fatigue comes out as criticism toward the one who is supposed to make them feel safe (husbands). Her anger and criticism invite the man to run away and escape. The more he withdrawals, the more abandoned she feels. The vicious cycle continues.
How do we break this cycle? As men who are designed to be leaders in the home, we must first reverse our natural tendency to run away from strong emotions. We have to address the fears and feelings of abandonment that our wives are experiencing. As we take responsibility for our failures to lead, they can begin to heal and feel safe. This means walking into some “control and criticism” coping behaviors and standing firm with love and patience. As we trust in the Lord to protect our tongue during these exchanges, our efforts to listen and honor our wives will bring new attitudes to the marriage. My failure to lead in the first 10 yrs. of marriage brought tremendous pain to my family. I can still feel the temptation to run from my wife’s emotions, but the Lord is teaching me to stand firm and love her through her fears and concerns. He is faithful when I trust Him.
Lord, help us to love our wives as you love the Church.
Today my church heard an amazing testimony from a dear friend on her role as a wife and daughter. She testified that she has failed to honor her husband as a submissive wife. She also commented on how many women have fallen into the pattern of “emasculating” their husbands with criticism and control. She wants to break this cycle before her daughters enter into marriage and follow the same pattern. Her courage and transparency invited the work of the Holy Spirit into so many of us in the congregation. We are grateful for her obedience to the Lord’s prompting.
Her observations on the “upside down” leadership in so many homes today reminded me of the many couples I counsel with that are in this cycle (as well as my marriage once upon a time). I submit that while some women are born with strong leadership tendencies, many adopt this style in response to fear and the abandonment of male leadership in the home. Here is the cycle in a nutshell: When men fail to lead by the example of Jesus, women become fearful. For many, the primary response to fear is to attempt to control the environment to feel safe. This attempt to control causes frustration and fatigue as it works against God’s natural design. The fear and fatigue comes out as criticism toward the one who is supposed to make them feel safe (husbands). Her anger and criticism invite the man to run away and escape. The more he withdrawals, the more abandoned she feels. The vicious cycle continues.
How do we break this cycle? As men who are designed to be leaders in the home, we must first reverse our natural tendency to run away from strong emotions. We have to address the fears and feelings of abandonment that our wives are experiencing. As we take responsibility for our failures to lead, they can begin to heal and feel safe. This means walking into some “control and criticism” coping behaviors and standing firm with love and patience. As we trust in the Lord to protect our tongue during these exchanges, our efforts to listen and honor our wives will bring new attitudes to the marriage. My failure to lead in the first 10 yrs. of marriage brought tremendous pain to my family. I can still feel the temptation to run from my wife’s emotions, but the Lord is teaching me to stand firm and love her through her fears and concerns. He is faithful when I trust Him.
Lord, help us to love our wives as you love the Church.
Monday, July 19, 2010
The Riptide of Culture
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Prov 22:6)
A recent trip to Orlando reminded me of how powerful our culture’s influence has become. The world is obsessed with Stuff. Only a few hours in Mickey’s World gave a stark reminder to the state of our being. We were herded like cattle from one form of entertainment to another. Each one brought a moment of joy and laughter, but then on to the next thing. Sad, really. Most people appeared to be in a constant state of seeking, planning and moving to the next potential thrill. Each stop was less than fully satisfying. Thus, the need for the next one.
I really became focused on the younger people, so many of them searching for the next sensation, fully expecting the “show” to satisfy. One image in a souvenir store brought home the power of the culture. A father was guiding his two young girls through the maze of toys and trinkets. The younger daughter (maybe 5 or 6 yrs old) was the model of a compliant child. Her eyes were fixed on her father’s instructions as they navigated through the busy store. Her older sister presented the opposite personality. Her focus and energy was bouncing from one display to another. The father continually begged his older daughter to move forward without much success. This scene was not unique in the World of Disney. Yet for me, this one was different. The father was Arabic. Both daughters wore a hijab, the traditional head covering of a Muslim woman. The picture of the older daughter (maybe 7or 8yrs old) will stay with me. On top of her hijaj, she wore a pair of bright pink Minnie Mouse ears! The culture had grabbed the attention of this young girl even through the powerful, conservative traditions of the Muslim faith.
For a brief moment this Christian dad felt a common bond with that Muslim father. Earlier that day, my daughter (18) texted my wife that she had gotten her first nose piercing. Surprise! Seeing this little girl reminded me of the battle between the culture and tradition. We were just a couple of Dads trying to hold back the tide of society’s influence on our precious gifts. I know my Kendall has Jesus to help guide the way. I pray those little girls will come to know Him too.
A recent trip to Orlando reminded me of how powerful our culture’s influence has become. The world is obsessed with Stuff. Only a few hours in Mickey’s World gave a stark reminder to the state of our being. We were herded like cattle from one form of entertainment to another. Each one brought a moment of joy and laughter, but then on to the next thing. Sad, really. Most people appeared to be in a constant state of seeking, planning and moving to the next potential thrill. Each stop was less than fully satisfying. Thus, the need for the next one.
I really became focused on the younger people, so many of them searching for the next sensation, fully expecting the “show” to satisfy. One image in a souvenir store brought home the power of the culture. A father was guiding his two young girls through the maze of toys and trinkets. The younger daughter (maybe 5 or 6 yrs old) was the model of a compliant child. Her eyes were fixed on her father’s instructions as they navigated through the busy store. Her older sister presented the opposite personality. Her focus and energy was bouncing from one display to another. The father continually begged his older daughter to move forward without much success. This scene was not unique in the World of Disney. Yet for me, this one was different. The father was Arabic. Both daughters wore a hijab, the traditional head covering of a Muslim woman. The picture of the older daughter (maybe 7or 8yrs old) will stay with me. On top of her hijaj, she wore a pair of bright pink Minnie Mouse ears! The culture had grabbed the attention of this young girl even through the powerful, conservative traditions of the Muslim faith.
For a brief moment this Christian dad felt a common bond with that Muslim father. Earlier that day, my daughter (18) texted my wife that she had gotten her first nose piercing. Surprise! Seeing this little girl reminded me of the battle between the culture and tradition. We were just a couple of Dads trying to hold back the tide of society’s influence on our precious gifts. I know my Kendall has Jesus to help guide the way. I pray those little girls will come to know Him too.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Anxious For Nothing?
Be anxious for nothing…(Phil 4:6)
I have heard this scripture quoted so often by Christians just trying to help a person through a tough time. For years I read this Word as a commandment to “not be anxious” about my circumstance. Trust God in all things. It’s not right to be anxious because if I trust God then my anxiety is a sign of my lack of faith, maybe even a “sinful” response to my trial. Hearing many sermons refer to this scripture in a similar vein only reinforced the idea that when I am worried or anxious, I am actually sinning against God in my lack of faith. I even brought this idea into my ministry as a husband, reminding Beth that her battles with worry and anxiety were actually sinful. (Please forgive me for that one, honey !)
Now God is showing me a new perspective on this old idea. The picture of Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane offers me hope in trying to understand God’s Word on anxiety. Luke 22:43 says that an angel appeared before Jesus to strengthen Him. The next verse portrays an incredible image of our Lord Jesus.
“And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (vs 44)
Wow! Jesus, who never sinned was stressing out over the cup put before Him by His Father. He was willing, but clearly struggling with the events that were about to unfold for Him. Isn’t this comparable to our worry and stress that we experience in our own life? If worry and anxiety are a sin, then the example of Jesus isn’t perfect here. But I know that He is and always will be perfect. So, maybe the words of Phil 4:6 are not intended to be a hard commandment. Maybe they are words of a glorious invitation? I need to take all my cares to Him in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving. When I make my request known to Him and trust by faith the He will take care of me (in every way), the peace of God will become known to me. When I am faithful to follow this invitation, He has always been faithful to bring me some measure of peace. The greater my faith, the greater my peace. I’m still learning this one
It’s comforting to know that this invitation is not a commandment that was meant to point out my sin. Even Jesus experienced stress.. What do you think?
I have heard this scripture quoted so often by Christians just trying to help a person through a tough time. For years I read this Word as a commandment to “not be anxious” about my circumstance. Trust God in all things. It’s not right to be anxious because if I trust God then my anxiety is a sign of my lack of faith, maybe even a “sinful” response to my trial. Hearing many sermons refer to this scripture in a similar vein only reinforced the idea that when I am worried or anxious, I am actually sinning against God in my lack of faith. I even brought this idea into my ministry as a husband, reminding Beth that her battles with worry and anxiety were actually sinful. (Please forgive me for that one, honey !)
Now God is showing me a new perspective on this old idea. The picture of Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane offers me hope in trying to understand God’s Word on anxiety. Luke 22:43 says that an angel appeared before Jesus to strengthen Him. The next verse portrays an incredible image of our Lord Jesus.
“And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (vs 44)
Wow! Jesus, who never sinned was stressing out over the cup put before Him by His Father. He was willing, but clearly struggling with the events that were about to unfold for Him. Isn’t this comparable to our worry and stress that we experience in our own life? If worry and anxiety are a sin, then the example of Jesus isn’t perfect here. But I know that He is and always will be perfect. So, maybe the words of Phil 4:6 are not intended to be a hard commandment. Maybe they are words of a glorious invitation? I need to take all my cares to Him in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving. When I make my request known to Him and trust by faith the He will take care of me (in every way), the peace of God will become known to me. When I am faithful to follow this invitation, He has always been faithful to bring me some measure of peace. The greater my faith, the greater my peace. I’m still learning this one
It’s comforting to know that this invitation is not a commandment that was meant to point out my sin. Even Jesus experienced stress.. What do you think?
Monday, July 12, 2010
Free from Sin?
“But now you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.” Rom 6:22
Have you been set free from sin? Paul has declared that the atoning work of Jesus in His death on the Cross has freed us from sin. Powerful words, do you believe them? Early in my recovery from sexual addiction, I read these words and questioned their application to my life. While God’s grace had miraculously delivered me from certain temptations, I certainly was not sinless. Why was I not set free from all sin? God’s Word was not lacking, only my understanding of the process.
Prior to God’s intervention in my life, sin (specifically my addictive behaviors) had dominion over me. It consumed my thoughts, my energy and my actions. It was my god. Paul writes that when I was a slave to sin, I was free from the control of righteousness (Rom 6:20). My mind was corrupted by foolishness and folly. The intrusion of Jesus Christ into my life awakened new desires in me. I yearned for holiness and a greater understanding of God. My mind was now redirected to pursue these things. The body, however, was not free from all temptations. I began setting guards in my life to protect my mind from the weakness of my flesh. New boundaries were established against exposure. The eyes were the first to be protected. Internet, movie and television viewing immediately changed. Even the beach was off limits for a few years until I could honor my wife with my eyes.
If the work on the Cross set me free from sin, then why is the pursuit of holiness still a challenge? While my spirit has now been released, my mind (which controls the body) is in the process of being renewed. New understanding of God’s Word invites new thoughts and habits to be formed. The repetition of old behaviors had literally hard-wired my brain to sinful responses. As my dear friend Harold Olson would say, “Sow a thought, reap a deed, sow a deed, reap a habit, sow a habit and build a character.” By faith, the saving work of Jesus on the Cross creates new thoughts that can now develop into new deeds, new habits and a new character. (2 Pet 1:1-12) The work of Jesus on the Cross is perfect and complete. My understanding and application of its power is still a work in progress (sanctification).
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Rom 12:1-2)
Put to death anything that corrupts this transformation. Praise God for His faithfulness and companionship in our journey!
Have you been set free from sin? Paul has declared that the atoning work of Jesus in His death on the Cross has freed us from sin. Powerful words, do you believe them? Early in my recovery from sexual addiction, I read these words and questioned their application to my life. While God’s grace had miraculously delivered me from certain temptations, I certainly was not sinless. Why was I not set free from all sin? God’s Word was not lacking, only my understanding of the process.
Prior to God’s intervention in my life, sin (specifically my addictive behaviors) had dominion over me. It consumed my thoughts, my energy and my actions. It was my god. Paul writes that when I was a slave to sin, I was free from the control of righteousness (Rom 6:20). My mind was corrupted by foolishness and folly. The intrusion of Jesus Christ into my life awakened new desires in me. I yearned for holiness and a greater understanding of God. My mind was now redirected to pursue these things. The body, however, was not free from all temptations. I began setting guards in my life to protect my mind from the weakness of my flesh. New boundaries were established against exposure. The eyes were the first to be protected. Internet, movie and television viewing immediately changed. Even the beach was off limits for a few years until I could honor my wife with my eyes.
If the work on the Cross set me free from sin, then why is the pursuit of holiness still a challenge? While my spirit has now been released, my mind (which controls the body) is in the process of being renewed. New understanding of God’s Word invites new thoughts and habits to be formed. The repetition of old behaviors had literally hard-wired my brain to sinful responses. As my dear friend Harold Olson would say, “Sow a thought, reap a deed, sow a deed, reap a habit, sow a habit and build a character.” By faith, the saving work of Jesus on the Cross creates new thoughts that can now develop into new deeds, new habits and a new character. (2 Pet 1:1-12) The work of Jesus on the Cross is perfect and complete. My understanding and application of its power is still a work in progress (sanctification).
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Rom 12:1-2)
Put to death anything that corrupts this transformation. Praise God for His faithfulness and companionship in our journey!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Freedom of Obedience
“He who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me... “ (NKJ) John 14:21a
Have the commandments of God been given to us so that our love for God can be measured by our performance? If I honestly evaluate my ability to keep the commandments of God I am immediately overwhelmed by my inability to keep God’s Word in thought or deed with any regularity. Even as I do the right thing, my heart strains to be filled with God’s love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Gal 5:23). The words of Jesus always challenge us to consider the heart of the matter, not just the deed. Yet, this verse in John brings a direct correlation between my obedience to His Word and my love for Him. Why does God relate my obedience to love? I think because my obedience to God in thought and behaviors indicates what I am truly thirsty for. If I am not seeking after God in prayer, counsel and fellowship, then I am seeking after worldly things. I am seeking my own way.
If we think that God’s overall goal is just obedience then we miss the point of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Obedience is the means to an end. The ultimate goal of obedience is to cleanse ourselves of worldly influences so that we may commune with God more fully.
“And He who loves me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him” John 14:21 b
His desire is to manifest Himself to us. Other translations say He wants to “dine” with us. My experience (especially the failures) has taught me that God’s commandments are rooted in love. He wants and knows what is best for me. I can never fully recognize the depth of God’s goodness until I walk in obedience to His plan. If I can put my rebellious nature to death (Rom 6:11, Ephes 4:17-24), God is faithful to create a new nature in me. His goal is to be one with me and I with Him. This is all for my benefit and His glory. Keeping His commandments guards this vessel from being filled with the distractions and lies of this world. They allow God to purify my heart and body to become the new man He promises to create. So, obedience is not the goal. Communion with my Lord is the goal. Obeying His commands frees me to engage. I can’t fully love Him unless I am free.
Have the commandments of God been given to us so that our love for God can be measured by our performance? If I honestly evaluate my ability to keep the commandments of God I am immediately overwhelmed by my inability to keep God’s Word in thought or deed with any regularity. Even as I do the right thing, my heart strains to be filled with God’s love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Gal 5:23). The words of Jesus always challenge us to consider the heart of the matter, not just the deed. Yet, this verse in John brings a direct correlation between my obedience to His Word and my love for Him. Why does God relate my obedience to love? I think because my obedience to God in thought and behaviors indicates what I am truly thirsty for. If I am not seeking after God in prayer, counsel and fellowship, then I am seeking after worldly things. I am seeking my own way.
If we think that God’s overall goal is just obedience then we miss the point of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Obedience is the means to an end. The ultimate goal of obedience is to cleanse ourselves of worldly influences so that we may commune with God more fully.
“And He who loves me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him” John 14:21 b
His desire is to manifest Himself to us. Other translations say He wants to “dine” with us. My experience (especially the failures) has taught me that God’s commandments are rooted in love. He wants and knows what is best for me. I can never fully recognize the depth of God’s goodness until I walk in obedience to His plan. If I can put my rebellious nature to death (Rom 6:11, Ephes 4:17-24), God is faithful to create a new nature in me. His goal is to be one with me and I with Him. This is all for my benefit and His glory. Keeping His commandments guards this vessel from being filled with the distractions and lies of this world. They allow God to purify my heart and body to become the new man He promises to create. So, obedience is not the goal. Communion with my Lord is the goal. Obeying His commands frees me to engage. I can’t fully love Him unless I am free.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The Living Water
Isaiah 55:1 says "Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters" Do you thirst for something?
This blog is the first on my journey to share my thirst for the Lord and His "living water." I hope to share reflections on this page of God's grace and mercy in my life. I want to give glory to God's Word in my posts. This is a journey to be shared with my friends. So many of you are in recovery from addictions. I pray that these words will offer encouragement to your walk. Your reflections and insights are precious to me. God has used so many saints to assist in my spiritual growth. I hope this blog will increase the dialogue of God's goodness. Do you thirst for God? Jesus says the He is the living water (John 4:14).
Let's drink together. I look forward to your reflections on my thoughts.
This blog is the first on my journey to share my thirst for the Lord and His "living water." I hope to share reflections on this page of God's grace and mercy in my life. I want to give glory to God's Word in my posts. This is a journey to be shared with my friends. So many of you are in recovery from addictions. I pray that these words will offer encouragement to your walk. Your reflections and insights are precious to me. God has used so many saints to assist in my spiritual growth. I hope this blog will increase the dialogue of God's goodness. Do you thirst for God? Jesus says the He is the living water (John 4:14).
Let's drink together. I look forward to your reflections on my thoughts.
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